What They Can Have
by Mus4u
Summary: Chapter Four: When you're a hunter the passing of time is relative and eighteen might as well be thirty-six when you never know when your number will be called and the time runs out.
1. What They Can Have

**Title:** What They Can Have

**Fandom:** Supernatural

**Pairing, Character(s):** Ben Braeden/Claire Novak

**Rating:** PG-13

**Genre, Warnings:** Mildly Schmoopy. Set in a future where monsters have over run the world.

**Words:** 2275

**Disclaimer:** I do not own SPN

What started out as reply to comment_fic grew pass that. Hope the OP doesn't mind that I am going to also use it as a fill for lover100 for the prompt 097. Writer's Choice "First Love".

I'd never really thought about these two in any capacity together until I ran across the prompt. Now I can't get them out of my head! It's cute, maybe believable. I hope someone else enjoys!

* * *

It had been months since Ben had stopped to rest, but in these days there wasn't much time for a hunter to stop for a breather. Years ago the Winchesters may have diverted one Apocalypse but that didn't stop the next one from taking form and now the world was over run by monsters and it seemed every day there was some new Thing that took more and more to bring down. He'd run into his dad only a few weeks ago, the old man was still pissed that Ben was running around the country trying to stop the Big Bads, but as Ben had said, "What would you have me do?" He didn't have a mom to protect anymore, didn't have any family except Dean Winchester and his angel. Sam was strapped down in an institution because he just. Wouldn't. Stop. Scratching. It wasn't like Dean and the angel were just going to suddenly settle down in their picket white fence and have two-point-five kids.

No, Ben was happier being seventeen and on the road and doing what he could to stop the monsters. Mom wouldn't have approved but she may have understood.

This current Thing was starting to try his last nerve though. Any time Ben thought he had it pinned down it managed to squirm away and then he spent another week tracking it down to the next town; by then It already ripped it's way through two more kids and burned a home to the ground. As much as he loathed the idea of asking Dean and the angel for help it was getting to the point that he might need them to come in.

That was until he ran into her.

Ben didn't recognize her but he did recognize the weapon she was wielding against the monster. It was a Holy Blade; part-Fairy Tale, part-Legend. Most didn't even believe them to be real but anyone that did knew that to be in possession of one the wielder was powerful, important and no one wanted to mess with them. She cut him down in five fatal strokes and when the thing fell to the ground Ben just stared open-mouthed for several minutes.

"Just gonna stare, pretty boy?" she sneered. The blade disappeared some where into her sleeve and that was one hell of a trick.

"I-um- Where did you get that?" Ben wasn't one to be at a loss of words. He took after Dean in the sense that even in the tightest situations he had something to say.

A dark, murderous look passed over her face before it fell into an eerily familiar stoic look. "The angel that stole my father's body gave it to me. This and a few other tricks," she spit on the ground. "Name's Claire Novak."

Ben hadn't been so singly focused on hunting monsters that he didn't recognize pretty woman and Claire was definitely one of them. Her long blonde hair was tied back tightly in a bun made messy by her intense fighting. She had storm blue eyes and wasn't much shorter than Ben's five-eleven. Her clothes were worn and she was possible at the end of her laundry by the dirt covered knees and bloodstains, some new and most old.

"Ben...Braeden." It was the first time since his mother's death that he had used her last name to introduce himself, but he wasn't an idiot. Angels knew the Winchester name and he really didn't like fighting girls. And he didn't think he wanted to fight _this_ girl for any reason.

She snorted, "You're a horrible lair." A small knife appeared out of no where and Ben was more than impressed by her skill. "I know you Ben Winchester. Who hasn't heard of Dean's son gallivanting around the country killing monsters almost as well as his father." Claire smiled then and Ben was thrown back at what a difference it made to her features. "So, you fight alone?" The knife twirled between her fingers and she looked at him, assessing.

"Mostly." They were in an abandoned warehouse and Ben didn't see any reason to on edge. He hoped up on the nearest flat surface and let his tiredness catch up with him. "What about you?"

"Try too. Castiel is such a bitch sometimes." Ben choked. "Yes, my dad's angel is your dad's _angel_." Claire rolled her eyes and plopped down on the dirty floor, using the knife to clean under her fingernails. "He's always flying in, when he's not needed," She glared at the ceiling like the angel might have been listening right then. Which was completely possible and made Ben sit a little straighter.

Ben tried to hold the question in but it came pouring out, "What happen to your mom?" That knife was suddenly buried in the wall only inches from Ben's head. "Hey! Hey, I'm sorry!" Claire stood up and stalked over to him and ripped the knife out of the wall. Before she could turn away he grabbed her arm and that murderous look was in her eye again. "I'm sorry," He said again.

Claire pulled away gently and nodded once. "Try to stay outta trouble Winchester." She turned and headed for the exit.

It only took the teen a second to come to a decision and he jumped down and quickly followed. "You got another hunt set up?" She snorted, "Yeah, of course, don't we all. Want some company?" Claire stopped and looked at him for a minute. "C'mon. It gets lonely out there, and I have a car."

"What makes you think I don't?" Ben knew she was boasting and it felt a little good to call her out this time.

He smirked, "You were already here when I got here. And since there is only one way into this place... C'mon, Claire, you can't say it wont be fun." She bit her lip but Ben could see she'd already given in.

"Fine, but don't try anything funny. I'll kick your ass and then tell Castiel so he can smite you." Ben grinned and Claire rolled her eyes. "God, you're just like your dad." Ben swung his arm around her shoulders and they left the building together.

* * *

The first two hunts together almost failed miserably. They were both leaders and so use to fighting alone that working around each other was impossible. The first time it was a nest of vampires and both of them were nearly bit and it wasn't until the last one was decapitated that they felt confident that they were going to win. The second hunt was a shape-shifter terrorizing a small town outside of New York. He was quite familiar with Ben's family and the distraction cost him.

"Fuck!" he shouted as Claire tired to work the bullet out of his arm.

"Shut up, baby." Claire finally got the tweezers around the lodged piece of metal. She pulled with a little more force than was needed in Ben's opinion but he just sucked in a deep breath of air and held his tongue. "You can't be distracted like that. There are monsters all over the country that know your name. And they're all going to use it against you. If you had listened to me none of this wou-"

"Go to hell, Novak."

Fire flew through her eyes, "I plan on it." Ben looked at her sharply but Claire didn't elaborate and he had an idea that it had to do with her mom. He let the subject drop.

"If we're going to be serious about this then we need to start working on our team work." And Ben wanted to be serious about it; the month with Claire had been one of his funniest months. He hadn't felt so _normal_ since his mom had died.

Claire didn't say anything for a minute. Just stood there cleaning the blood from his arm, she packed the wound and wrapped it with gauze. "Where should we start?"

"First, I think we need to be use to fighting with each other. We need to spar, get familiar with the others moves." Claire smirked, her eyes dancing a little. "Yes, I'll actually fight you."

"And no going soft on me," She poked his arm, hard, right underneath his fresh wound.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

It was rough at first. Neither wanted to particularly hurt the other and even though Ben thought of Claire like a girl, she looked like a girl and even (on occasion) dressed like one. Claire Novak did not fight like one. She threw hard punches that left Ben bruised for days, knew a fighting style that he was certain she could have only learned from Castiel, and managed to pin Ben the first six times they fought. At least that was how it went until the first time Ben forgot to pull a punch and it connected squarely with Claire's jaw. Through a bloody smile she looked at him with pride in her eyes. Muttering something that sounded like, "_Finally_," she came at Ben with vengeance. Her punches suddenly harder, quicker; and Ben had to pull out all of his stops to keep up with her. He was never going to admit to anyone but he was impressed, more than impressed. It was probably the day he fell in love with Claire Novak.

* * *

It wasn't that they started fighting each other and miraculously they were the best hunting team in the world, but they did notice a quick difference. During a fight they didn't need to verbally communicate what their next would be. Claire would see Ben starting to pivot back on his left foot and she knew a roundhouse was coming. Ben could gauge Claire's attacks by the force she delivered behind them. And back to back they were amazing; using each other bring down enemies quickly, efficiently and with a lot of fun.

By the time Claire's seventeenth birthday rolled around they had been fighting side-by-side for six months and the slow building attraction between them was getting harder to resist. After a tough mission they would both tumble into the same bed too tired to care and it felt good– better to have the other as close as possible. Still waking up in their grimy clothes from the hunt killed anything romantic about waking up wrapped in each others arms.

There was a minute though when they were both still sleep-muddled and Claire's eyes would blink and Ben could think of nothing more than leaning in close and capturing her lips with his. But one or both of them would pull away and they'd untangle themselves quickly, not meeting each others eyes.

"Happy Birthday," Ben presented Claire with the cupcake he had gotten from the convenience store down the road.

She stared at the little piece of cake for a minute. "Th-thank you." She blew out the single candle and took it from him. She unwrapped it carefully and then pulled it into two pieces. "Here, no fun eating it alone." They ate in silence and Ben mentally psyched himself up to give her the present he had gotten.

"Here," he shoved the crudely wrapped gift into her hands. "I hope you like it, I really had no idea what to get you." At least he hadn't until she'd lost her favorite knife on a hunt a week ago. Ben was pretty sure it was the closest he had ever seen her cry before. The original knife was a gift from her mom right before...whatever happened did. The hilt had been a deep stained wood and the four inch blade always kept sharp.

Claire pulled off the brown paper that Ben decorated with balloons and smiley faces. She set it to the side carefully and it made Ben grin that she was going to keep it, maybe. Since he hadn't had the money to actually buy the knife (and neither of them were too concerned with stealing) he put it in an empty box of Claire's favorite candy. She looked at him and grinned, "Thanks," she rolled her eyes.

"Open it," he urged and her curiosity piqued. She shook it carefully and looked confused when a solid object rattled inside. "I know it's not your favorite color, but I thought..." He trailed off and watched her face as the knife fell into her hands. The first one he had been able to snatch had a dark purple hilt with pink inlays. Ben was sure the shop owner had thought ino one/i would steal it. Claire hefted it in her hand a few times and thumbed the blade out, testing it's sharpness.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you," she said softly. Twirling it between her fingers before giving it an experimental throw. It bedded it's self neatly in the wall above Ben's head; he didn't even flinch. Claire threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "This is the first birthday I've celebrated since Mom was taken." Ben nodded against her shoulder, he knew the feeling. Pulling back she looked at him for a moment before closing the space in between them.

Ben gasped softly but didn't pull away. The opposite actually, he wrapped his arms tightly around Claire's waist and dragged her into his lap. All the imagining up to this moment of wondering what her lips would feel like, taste like did not disappoint as Claire swiped her tongue over Ben's bottom lip. The kiss deepen and Ben moaned. He'd fallen in love with Claire Novak a long time ago, but he was sure today was the day he decided he was never letting her go.


	2. Hold Me Tight

**Themes: **Hurt/Comfort, minor Character Death

**Words:** 1438

**Disclaimer:** I do not own SPN

**Prompt**: Written for both my hc_bingo card: nightmares and lover100 table: 044 Death.

This loosely follows the last story. It at the very least explains how they ended up together. 

* * *

Rolling along a dark, deserted back road had always and would probably always remain one of Ben's favorite things to do. It was calm. It was peaceful. And if for a moment he could forget that his eyes were roving the treeline and sky for any sign of danger it would be relaxing. A time when he would have the chance to reflect and wonder; dream a bit on how he could change his life, if he wanted too.

With Claire there the tide had changed. Good nights she was awake with her feet on the dash, dancing in her seat, singing every song that came on. Claire always picked and even if the twanging country stuff wasn't Ben's thing he'd endure to watch her, happy. Nights like now when they had to drive a little longer than expected to find a motel found her stretched across the seat, head in Ben's lap. These were great nights, he kept one hand firmly on the steering wheel and the other tangled softly in Claire's hair. Classic rock floated out of the speakers and Ben hummed or sang quietly along.

He wouldn't have went back to those lonesome rides. Not Heaven, not Hell could make him.

"Ugh," Claire groaned. "You think too loud, Winchester." She twisted her back some, stretching.

Ben laughed and gave her hair a playful tug. "You love it. I think there's a stop coming up."

"Awesome." She swung herself around and flipped the station. "My back is killing me." Ben rolled his eyes, at least she was getting to rest. Claire grinned and leaned over to peck his check, she wrinkled her nose. "Can I say? I'll be happy when you're finally eighteen and that cactus on your face can disappear." The IDs Uncle Bobby had gotten for them hadn't worked out so well when Ben's baby face was compared to his. All Claire had to do was throw on a little red lipstick and hers was gold, and usually it came off as fast.

They bantered back and forth until a motel came into view and both of them sighed. Ben was tired and both of them couldn't wait to crawl into bed. Claire twisted around and started getting their bags together; they'd been on the road for a few days now, jumping between towns looking for a job. "I'll get the key," Ben got out.

After everything was together Claire dropped the bags on the ground and jumped up on the hood to wait for Ben. Watching her partner inside gather their room key and then precede to slowly back toward the door she laughed. Once he was finally able to escape she whistled, "So, Romeo you find a new friend in there?"

"Shut up." He snatched his bag from her feet. "Next time you get to go in and be Redneck Jr.'s eye-candy." Claire chuckled, following behind him.

"Long as you didn't get us mixed up in some hilly-billy massacre it'll be fine." She leaned against his back while he unlocked their room. Ben grinned and let her warmth soak in. "C'mon," she wrapped her fingers around his and urged him to drop the bag. "I'm exhausted, you're exhausted. Let's get some sleep." Ben learned long ago that arguing with Claire was futile. He let himself be pulled and when they fell he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"Night, Claire." She snuggled closer.

"Night, Ben." 

* * *

Ben could remember two times he felt helpless. When his mother was taken by the demon and subsequently killed propelling him into the life he had now, and the first time Claire woke him with one of her nightmares. He continued to feel helpless every time one came, but he was only trying to count it once. He hadn't known about the nightmares until they started sharing a bed constantly, though he thought they had probably been going on for a lot, lot longer than that.

The dreams gripped Claire without warning and Ben though they were worst, more frightening when he was awake to witness its taking hold. He always tried to wake her, but nothing worked. Not yelling, shaking or even dumping cold water on her (in hindsight that was the stupidest thing Ben had ever done.) Cursed to do nothing but watch as Claire twisted up in pain, her eyes rolling around her head behind closed eyelids. She whimpered and made desperate sounds that tore Ben to pieces. He waited it out while all he could do was gather her close and repeat over and over again that it would be alright, that when she woke up he'd be right there. That she wasn't alone and, "God, please, Claire wake up."

The nightmare that took her that night was different. Ben woke up in time to stop Claire from shaking right of the bed. Her head twisted back and forth and she repeatedly mouthed the same word or two. "Claire," He grabbed her around the waist and pulled. "Sh, Claire." His fingers ran through her sweaty hair. "I'm here."

Claire shook and a sob forced its way out of her. She woke up with a strangled, "Mom!" on her lips. Claire buried her head in Ben's chest and cried freely. Ben rocked them slowly and eventually laid them back down.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked when the tears subsided. Ben already knew the answer, it was the same one any time she woke up from the dream and stayed awake long enough for him to ask.

She was quiet for so long Ben thought maybe she had fallen asleep, then, "They took her in the middle of the night." Ben held his breath. "I heard her scream and by the time I made it to her room only one demon was left. He told me I would never see her again; she was going to a depth of Hell that not even my guardian angel would reach." Ben held in his snort, obviously the demon had missed the memo on which angel exactly Claire Novak had watching her back. "Castiel was too late, always, just a second too late. I hated him for a long time." Claire laughed mirthlessly, the past tense of once hating Castiel wasn't quite true.

"What are the dreams about, Claire?" He kissed her forehead when she tensed up. Ben, at least, knew better than to call attention to the fact that she had finally trusted him enough to tell him what had happen to her mom; Ben had shared his horrible story a long time ago.

"They're different. Sometimes I make it to her room with enough time to see her being pulled down into some pit of Hell. Others, like tonight, I make there and I'm _not_ a snot-sniveling, weak child that I had been. I'm in the now, here and I can kick those demons' ass. And I have just enough time, just enough to grab Mom's hand and then..." She turned her head into Ben's chest, fresh tears hit his skin and he squeezed tighter. "She's ripped away from me and the floor closes up." The silence stretched again, but Ben was determined not to break it like he normally would. Claire had never shared that much of herself to him; in the year they'd been fighting together and the six months they'd been together.

"I wish I could take it away," He whispered.

"Oh, Ben." Claire leaned up and looked him in the eye. "You've no idea how much you help me. Everyday." Ben's cheeks went red and his stomach fluttered; he was such a chick sometimes. "Hold me tonight, every night. You know as much as I do, it'll never go away."

Ben thought about his own nightmares that gripped him some nights. The circumstances weren't much different between them, except with Ben's mom he'd been the one to perform the exorcism, he'd been there when the demon was sent back to hell and his mother had laid weak and broken in the trap. He'd held her while she quietly slipped away. Claire had never had any such closure.

"We'll find your mom."

"My mom is dead." He hated the way she said it, like she'd accepted the fact a long time ago.

"Her soul is still in Hell and that's no death anyone should have." Especially souls that didn't deserve to be there and after everything Amelia had given up the least anyone could give her was a chance at peace.

Claire snorted, but Ben knew it was wet with tears and her voice soft and fond, "Fucking Winchesters."


	3. Lies That Hold Me

**Themes:** Hurt/Comfort, slightly descriptive acts of torture

**Words:** 2232

**Disclaimer:** I don't own SPN

**Prompt:** Written for the prompt "Confession in a Desperate Situation" on my hc_bingo card

* * *

It was a straight forward case. A poltergeist haunting an old factory-turned-club. According to the information Claire and Ben were able to dig up it seemed that the soul died there during the factory's final days and was sealed up in the building, waiting until it could find someone to torment. Ben had joked with her as they made their way into the empty building in board day light (they had learned the night before that poltergeist hunting was not effective when you were too young to get in.) "Y'know, it's a good thing we don't have regular jobs. Seems like they drive everyone to be a vengeful spirit."

Claire rolled her eyes and flicked Ben's ear. "Pay attention, dumbass."

That was an hour ago. Before shit hit the fan.

* * *

Their poltergeist wasn't a poltergeist at all. No, it was a demon, and this had been a trap. Claire was still kicking herself for not seeing it sooner. The factory had been open long enough and the occurrences had only started a few weeks ago; about the same time they had decided to head north. If she hadn't been hung up by her wrists she would have smacked herself. Instead she settled for glaring at Ben, equally tied up, across from her.

"You really can't blame this on me, babe." Ben swung a little, testing out his bonds. "You didn't see it for a trap either, y'know."

Claire didn't respond, instead she took in what was around them. Obviously the demon had set up shop in this abandoned part of the factory some time ago; even with the thick layer of dust coating everything she noticed where gleaming surfaces covered a great deal of the room too.

"You're not going to give me the silent treatment are you?" Ben stopped moving, instead he watched her closely.

"It's a strong one, Ben." Claire watched the door, "We might need help on this one." Ben groaned. In their year of hunting together they had never once called on their respective father/parent figure. In the beginning of their relationship the two, mostly likely because of Dean's insistence, had dropped in quite frequently. Neither of them were going to forget their embarrassing first date, no one wanted their date to suddenly become a double with your dads tagging along.

Ben had started to look skyward; a hard habit to break even when you knew your guardian angel resided on Earth, when the door of their small prison opened.

"My, oh my. What a lovely pair I have caught here; the infamous Ben Winchester and Claire Novak." Claire glared, hard. "Oh, c'mon now. I know you know this was a trap, but it's still fun. Now, play along." Claire spit at its feet and Ben upped his attempts to free himself. The demon frowned, "Now, children. I went to a lot of trouble to draw you here. It's not easy evading your daddies and place all the appropriate clues for you. But y'know? I'm the only one who's had the guts to try."

"Cause you're an idiot," Ben muttered, giving him the finger. Claire resisted rolling her eyes, of course Ben would provoke it; why had she thought any different.

The demon had been giving Claire most of his attention; a look in his eyes that made her insides cold. But Ben with his big mouth changed that. "I'll start with you, then, Winchester." The knife appeared in his hand and Claire jerked against her bonds.

"Leave him alone!"

It smirked at Claire over its shoulder. "No worries, Miss Novak. I will come to you very soon, but the Winchester boy isn't as strong as you; though equally feared. And anyways, isn't this what you wanted?"

"No," Claire stammered, but the demon wasn't paying attention to her any more. No, he was focused on Ben, who was looking at Claire.

The chuckle cut through them and suddenly the stories they heard from older hunters made sense. The reason that there was fear and awe when some of them spoke about a demon. "Oh, she hasn't told you, yet." It was the perfect imitation of sympathy; it would have fooled some.

Ben gave the demon his own smirk, "Demons lie," he song-sang. It was a mantra his dad had taught him years ago. The knife was under his chin and Ben finally, _finally_, looked scared.

"We do, but we also tell the truth, sometimes." It nicked Ben's chin, a flesh wound that would heal quickly enough. "Want to know something truthful?" Claire sucked in her breath, she was ready to defend herself if this taunt went in the direction she was fearing. "You two are _feared_," the demon whispered it, like it couldn't quite believe that it had done something so unspeakable. It had tricked, captured and now had at its mercy the children of Dean Winchester and vessel of an angel, respectively. "No one wants to or should want to touch you. No one wants that sort of death wish hanging on their heads." Claire had its attention again, "You should know your daddy tore the ones who took your mother to shreds."

"Good," she spit, "I'll rip a few more of you to pieces myself."

The demon laughed. "I'm sure you will, but you'll have to lure them to you first. Right?" Claire stiffened and focused on Ben; she needed to stop falling into the demon's games. They needed to get out of there. "You knew no demon would be stupid enough to target you directly."

"Shut up!" Claire panicked. Those awful, childish thoughts had consumed her so long ago and didn't even matter now as she had grown with Ben. "You're a liar!"

The demon whipped around, its knife pointed at Claire and a wild look in its eye. "Do not call me a liar again, Miss Novak. You _know_ I am speaking the truth." Ben looked at her over the demon and it wasn't fear or mistrust she saw there.

No, of course, Ben Winchester had a crazy gleam in his eye. It was all the warning Claire had before Ben pulled up on his bonds and used the leverage to kick his legs out and send the demon toppling in her direction. She had a second to lift her own body and wrap her legs around its neck. With a quick twist she felt the thin bones in the neck snap under her pressure. She released it and sent the demon flying back toward Ben who got a good kick the the head in before the demon regained his balance and held them still with his power.

The demon laughed, wiping blood from its mouth and settled the broken neck best as he could. "Well, let's make no mistake, you two are everything the rumors make you out to be." And that was all the warning they received before the knife was embedded in Ben's shoulder. He didn't scream but his face contorted and sharp breathing filled the room. "Now," Claire could see it, the demon was done playing with them. It was time to break its toys. "I am going to ask questions and you Miss Novak will answers them truthfully. Every time you lie I will hurt Winchester here, got it?" They both nodded. "Good. Miss Novak, do you or do you not plan on using Winchester to find demons for you to kill?"

"No..." The knife twisted painfully as the demon removed it. "Not anymore," she rushed.

Ben's head snapped up, "What?" The response delighted the demon.

"Now we'll get some where. Miss Novak would you let poor Ben die at the hands of a demon?"

Of course the answer was no, even before, even when she'd still had the thoughts in her head she knew she was never going to let anything bad happen to Ben. Never. She hesitated a moment to long, "No."

"Lie!" It buried the knife deeply in the uninjured shoulder.

"No! It's not, I'm not lying." Claire pulled at her bonds. "I'm going to kill you!" The demon whipped around to face her. Ben hung limp, blood soaking his shirt. "When I'm finished you'll wish death was your salvation." The demon stared at her, eyes wild with the prospect that he had them here stung up like pigs and no one was going to find them. It was the manic glint that drew her in.

It laughed, "You're such a cocky little bitch. You've killed a few dozen evil things in your short pathetic life and it makes you think you're a god. You befriended Winchester thinking it would bring the demons to you; they are not so stupid to fight that boy either. And then, you foolishly fall in love with him." The demon ran the knife along Claire's cheek, soft enough not to damage but it did leave Ben's blood smeared where it touched. "And now you care so much and forgot sight of your goal. Well, here it is."

Claire promised a long time ago she wouldn't show weakness. Not in front of the things she hunted or Ben; who was always so strong for her, but Ben had broken that defense a long time ago and Claire wasn't going to act now. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks. "Leave him alone, please." She struggled and wished the demon would just hurt her already so Ben wouldn't be suffering alone.

He raised his head weakly, like he could hear that stray, suicidal thought. Ben looked at her, his own face stained and she could see where the blood was still dripping from the more damaged wound. "It's okay," he whispered. "We're going to get out of this." Claire laughed weakly, of course. Her boy scout love just wouldn't go into a fight without informing his dad. The second they dropped off the radar they had come running for them.

The demon realized his mistake an hour too late. Claire didn't get to see they come in a kick the demon's ass straight back to Hell. Claire was the novelty trophy and Ben the Big Buck, but the cut across her torso and the back hand did knock her out.

* * *

"Ben!" She wrenched herself into a sitting position, and he was right there soothing her down. Big hands ran over her shoulders and arms, words of comfort, soft and sincere close to her ear. Claire pulled his hands away and did her own exploring, but found that his and her injuries had all been healed. She looked up to find Castiel and Dean both standing in the room. She pulled the blanket around her a little tighter and really hoped it was Ben that dressed her in the clean clothes she wore.

Dean clapped his hands, giving them a big grin. "Well, if you two can handle it from here we'll just be a few rooms down. C'mon Cas," Dean had to pull on the angel's arm twice to get him moving.

But Castiel did not remove them directly from the room. Instead he came up to the bed and with a sharp glare quickly dispelled Ben from Claire's side. "I know you are afraid." Claire tried to shake her head, she didn't want to have this conversation at all, least of all with Castiel and Dean in the audience. "They cannot hear me. I know you are afraid, but Ben loves you and will forgive you."

"He shouldn't," she blurted.

"Be that as you may think, Ben will forgive you." There was a moment of hesitation before Castiel hugged her. "I am very happy that you are okay. I do not want to lose you." Claire hugged back and from Ben and Dean's faces she knew that they had at least seen and heard that much. They were gone with the flutter of wings.

Ben stood across from her and she couldn't bring herself to move from the bed. "I'm sorry," she managed to get out, even though she could feel her throat closing and her eyes were starting to burn. "I'm sorry." He crossed to her finally and without hesitation he had his hands on her shoulders, pulling her closer. "I'm sorry."

"It'll be okay."

"Not today."

"No," Ben confirmed. "Not today. I love you Claire, I love you and we have a lot to talk about. But tonight, I just want to sleep with you by my side and know that Dad and Cas are just a few doors down and nothing is going to be bursting through that door." Claire finally noticed then, with Ben's hands resting gently on her shoulders that a fine tremor ran through him. Ben was scared and exhausted and still the only place he wanted to be was with her.

She nodded. "Okay, I can do that." Ben smiled and kissed her lips. She shuddered knowing things could have gone so much worse, but instead she was getting another night. Another chance to start over and try things the right way.


	4. Time Ticks Away

**Disclaimer:** I do not own SPN

**Prompt:** written for 50ficlets Confessions; and lover100: 018 Honesty

* * *

When their dads tell them they're going to Bobby's or be forced to hunt side-by-side with them for the foreseeable future Claire and Ben don't hesitate. They take the next Angel-bus straight to Montana. They need it anyway. They've been fighting non-stop for almost a year and it didn't matter that they were young blood. They'd burn out just like any hunter that didn't take a moment to smell the roses. And with the demon nothing was the same anymore.

Claire could feel it in the way Ben acted with her. He didn't touch her, didn't want to fight with her, sometimes it felt like he didn't even want to look at her. And she knew she deserved it after what the demon had said and Claire hadn't denied a word of it. She hadn't even tried to make the demon out to be a lair, and it would have been so easy. At least she was spared the pain of him refusing to room with her. Bobby might have been the coolest "Grandpa" around but he wasn't tolerating them sharing a bed under his roof. Not his "grandbabies", and Bobby could deny it all he wanted. Claire had heard him say it.

So it boiled down to them dancing around each other and she was tired of it. She mentally hiked up her big girl pants, because Claire Novak could stare ghosts in the eye, wrestle with werewolves and was fierce against vampires; all of which she did with Ben watching her back. Damn it she wasn't going to let this be the fear that gripped her tight and never let go.

She did the only thing she could think was fair; she fought dirty.

Cornering Ben wasn't the hard part, getting him to fight his way out was. After the third failed attempt to get around her Ben gave up with a glare. "Please move, Claire?"

"I"m trying to figure out why you said we could work this out, now you're ignoring me." Claire wanted to push into Ben's space but stopped herself.

His mouth was drawn in a tight line, dark circles under his eyes. "We should have died." Ben reached out and put his hands on Claire's shoulders, his eyes went from her's to her stomach and she tried to ignore the phantom pains she thought she felt there.

"We didn't."

"Before we met you were on a suicidal road trip to Hell." Ben shut his eyes and Claire wanted, needed to punch a wall. Anything. Ben should not have looked so world-weary. "And I don't know if you've stopped or not."

Claire didn't know the answer either; instinctively she wanted to deny it. She wanted to claw her way out of the hole she had dug, fill it with anything and pretend it was dirt. "I will, I can. You know how hard it is to let things go." With courage she didn't feel she barreled on, "And what the demon said– I. It was true. I'd been following you for weeks, but it changed. Soon as I got to know you."

He dropped to the ground, "Damn it, Claire." Ben looked up at her, face broke open with emotions. "I've been having some stupid thoughts." Claire's stomach knotted itself. "Y'know I want to grow old with you?"

"We're eighteen–"

"Yes, and we almost died a few days ago. We're eighteen and we almost died. You–" Ben choked on his words and it never occurred to Claire to ask what happen after she blacked out. "That demon cut your stomach open. If Dad and Castiel hadn't shown up when they did; if Cas hadn't healed you so quickly." Ben was shaking and Claire fell next to him.

"I'm here now." She reached out and touched his knee. "I wasn't saying I didn't want to grow old with you too, y'know."

Ben pulled her forward and she willingly fell into his waiting arms. "People like us don't find this, Claire. Look how long it took Dean to find Castiel." Claire nodded against Ben's chest, even if she didn't really agree. Someone like Dean and an angel like Castiel didn't just fall into each others fate like that. That was the cunning planning of a tenacious son of a bitch. "We gotta hold on."

"I'm not letting go, and I sure as fuck am not letting a demon get in between us." She looked up at him, "Right?" the question was there.

Ben nodded. "I'm here. You're stuck with me." Claire wanted to crack "until death do us part" but she didn't think he'd appreciate the joke, and she didn't want to give Ben any ideas. She could admit her undying love for the guy and that growing old (as old as they could) with him was the plan. But wedding bells, not so much. "Think we can convince them we're ready to be back on field?"

Claire snorted, "I'll leave that one up to you." Ben rolled his eyes. They knew who the favorite was here, and it wasn't him.


End file.
